Exhaustion, Frustration, & Insurance...

So he is 1 week old today. Our growing little bundle of joy has been so much fun to learn yet has also brought on an emotional roller coaster for me that I can't describe other than tagging it as "the baby blues."

I was hoping not to be one of "those moms" that can't control her emotions after birth, but I have just been an emotional wreck and I think that there are things that aided in this that were out of anyone's hands...

1st: Breastfeeding is not easy, so whoever said it was, is wrong. It is a "learned" skill that baby has to learn, no one tells you this and you safely assume they will just latch on and boom, everything is hunky dory! Well, not for me. The beginning was good...he took a bit to latch on but when he did, he ate really really well. Then we were sent home and my milk came in the next day...can we say "ENGORGEMENT MUCH?!" OUCH! My boobs would make Pamela Anderson jealous! Seriously! With this came frustration of getting Decovin to latch on at all...I was so engorged that he couldn't get a good grip (if you will). So I struggled with then having to "prep" my breast for him to eat. This included a very painful use of a breast pump just to get the nipple supple for him. Yeah, not cool! On top of ALL of this, I have dry/cracked nipples which started to bleed even with the use of nipple ointment...it got so bad, I had to get a prescription for a special steroid ointment specifically for this. They are feeling better but still hurt when he first latches on. I am happy to report that we no longer need the breast pump to prepare the nipple and he is getting much better at latching on. This is where knowing that this is a "learned" process would have been useful. I wouldn't have gotten so frustrated with myself and him and tried to relax more. I was so tense that he sensed it and he then became frustrated and wouldn't latch on for his life! This too shall pass.

2nd: Insurance is a bitch! Excuse my french, but it is. The rules are just enough to make you want to punch someone. For example:

We were told that our insurance would not cover his circumcision on the day of our releasement from the hospital (which is when it was set up to be done). They tell us this AFTER the fact...so we have to pack up and leave w/o having the procedure done and they tell us to contact Whiteman Airforce Base and set it up with them to do it there. (I am thinking, ok whatever, they must have to tell military families this all the time so they know what they are talking about). We go home, and I call them the next day (Thursday) to set up the procedure only to find out that, no, they in fact DO NOT do the procedures on base and now that we have been released will need a referral to have someone else do it. So some doctor at the base in the Pediatrician department informs me that b/c it wasn't done in the hospital, now he will have to wait until he is 6 months old to do the procedure!!! So of course, I freak out and cry so much I make myself almost sick. Then the phone calls went back and forth between the Insurance company (of whom tell me that they would have in fact paid for the procedure on the day of our releasement and were apalled that we were told otherwise), the Pediatrician office, my Primary Care Physicians office on base, my pre-natal doctor's office, and the hospital. Until FINALLY on Friday afternoon at around 5pm, I speak with a nice nurse who was kind enough to help me through my hysterical phone call to her...she said that one of the doctor's in the office would do them up until they were 1 month old so we should be able to get this done next week no problem. Sooooo....

She called me back Monday morning and we have his appointment set up for this Thursday at 9am with my pre-natal doctor in her office. **sigh of relief** I am really dredding the trip though as I know he will be in a lot of pain and I am worried this will throw him off his awesome sleep schedule. He currently is eating every 2-3 hours and sleeps in between some and at night sleeps for 5-6 hours before waking up again! He is awesome and I hope this doesn't traumatize him. I know I will be traumatized for a few days and I am sure my emotions will overcome me for a few days after that as well. So be thinking of my son and me when this happens, I am sure I will cry the whole day.

Enough rambling for now. Enjoy this photo of me and my son: