How long is it ok to let a baby cry for?
I feel like we are constantly holding or picking up Camden whenever he starts crying really badly...He has a hard time "going to sleep" on his own w/o some kind of comfort...such as Bob holding him for 30 minutes or so and then putting him down or sitting in the bouncy chair with the vibrator thing on...this is starting to become a routine and I don't like it. I liked just putting Decovin down in bed wide awake and letting him put himself to sleep...it's becoming really frustrating because I have yet to just set him in bed awake and walk away knowing he will fall asleep. HELP!?! Any suggestions?
I've tried swaddling him and that sometimes works, I've tried music, we even elevated his bed to mimic the feeling of the bouncy chair angle, I'm running out of ideas!
12 comments:
Wow, you worry about odd things. Camden is only WEEKS old. His only way to communicate is to cry. If you don't go pick him up and see what he needs, he learns that he can't trust you to help him. I really don't know what you guys did with Decovin, but Nathan is just recently going to bed wide awake and soothing himself to sleep.
USUALLY, very young babies need to be asleep or very nearly asleep when you put them down. They need to know you are close by so they feel safe. And yes, they need a lot of comforting because face it, they can't see much yet and everything is new and scary.
Give him a break. I don't think you can expect him to self-sooth this young. And I say all this with much love and support. (Not like I'm any expert by any means...)
Love you.
And besides...what is so bad about holding and snuggling a baby????
Thanks Stacy...I needed to hear that I'm not crazy...lol! I just feel like I can't remember what we did with Decovin...it was only 2 years ago, but I can't remember ANYTHING past a few days! LOL!
And there is nothing wrong with holding a snuggling a baby, I'm trying to cherish every minute since it will be my last, but I don't want to 'over' spoil him in the future because of this.
It may be an odd thing to worry about, but I don't want a kid attached to my hip b/c I don't have the back muscles to hold a baby that long! :-) I don't need any further physical therapy if I can avoid it! LOL!
New baby new rules. He is coming into his own with a personality to boot.
He could be like his Uncle Jeff, who would not sleep in his bed but could sleep and sleep on momma's chest. It was very trying. When we went to put him down he would wake up and man then the cycle started all over.
It is all between you and the baby. All the advice in the world won't do it,,, But, you can try your avice type things and it will all come together.
Since he is (maybe sorta) your last baby enjoy the cuddles and giving the cuddles.. Every baby is a new adventure. There are no set rules.
One thing I tried with Stacy (and it didn't work mind you)..but put a heating pad in the bed while you are feeding him. Then when you lay him back down (checking for not to warm of course) it is suppose to help make baby feel cozy warmth and not shock of the cold sheets.. Just one I tried - again it didn't work for my baby, but might for you.
Keep trying and chin up. You can always find love out here. Hugs
Wrap the waterbottle in your shirt (one just worn and that smells like Mommy). That might help too. A ticking clock or heartbeat recording might help too. Re-reading a familiar short story is soothing.
Don't feel bad about the constant urge to jump up when he cries... Your kid has reasons to cry right now... he's a big pooper and his butt is, I'm sure, hurting so he's letting you know. We all know cries are babies only means for communication at this age. Sometimes (when you know you've already fed him, held him, burped him, changed him, etc.) babies also need to learn it's ok to be alone once in a while. If they learn right away that you're going to jump at every peep, then you'll be doing a whole lotta jumpin' for the next 6 years. Don't sweat it sistah, you're doing a great job!
Amen sister! You don't want to start the "she'll hold me if I cry" ordeal! But you have to do what feels right to you, and only you will know. As long as he's not hurting a little crying won't do any harm. When I took care of Ryan, his mom requested "Ryan Aone" time because she felt it was very important for his development. I do like Christy's idea of having something in his crib that smells like you and the heartbeat thing! Those are two things that I would give a try. All my love!
Sweety, we used to hold Decovin and let him fall asleep on us, don't you remember? You had me and Christy with him for awhile. We were a pretty good tag team I thought. I think you are just tired. Jeff was my cryer for sure. I had phlebitis & a psyatic nerve problem and I just know my tension was passed onto him. He would cry going to sleep and wail when he woke up. He was hungry all the time it seemed too. I started him on a liquidy cereal in a bottle at night so he'd sleep longer. Each kid is different. Just relax and try to enjoy your kiddos. Decovin isn't being deprived of your attention. Just make it story time while you are nursing. Our love to all of you.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions and tips. I really like some of the ideas to try!
I must say though, last night Camden slept for 5 hours straight! WHOO HOO! I don't know if it was a combination of the glass of wine I had plus laying him on his side or what but whatever it was, IT WAS AWESOME! I felt so rested at 3:30am when he woke up I seriously felt like I could have gotten ready for the day...of course I didn't but ya know what I mean.
Thanks again everyone! :-)
OH thinking of the wine makes me remember when I went to the LaLache league. They said that if you drink a beer the vitamin B helped you to relax and pass to the baby. Also it helped to make more milk!! bonus.
Mmmmmm....beeeeer...
Oh, Jen--I feel your pain! The sleeping thing is so hard the second time around for me, too...I'm not sure if it's because you and I are used to the older one sleeping so well that we've forgotten about the months leading up to that? Hang in there, girl!
Jennie Stiles
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